Local Parents Heroically Rescue Son from Clutches of His Own Identity

Satirical response to: 'Our Story in a Nutshell'

SPRINGFIELD - Bob and Karen Johnson are being hailed as heroes after saving their 15-year old son Michael from the brink of self-knowledge last Tuesday. The harrowing rescue occurred after Michael made the shocking announcement that he "might be trans," a terrifying prospect his parents recognized as the delusional ravings of a sinister transgender cult.

"He was so far gone, he actually thought he knew himself better than we did," said Karen, her voice shaking. "Clearly our vulnerable boy had fallen prey to the nefarious transgender agenda that's claimed so many promising young lives."

The Johnsons leapt into action, scouring the internet for resources to disprove Michael's misguided beliefs about his own identity. "The forums were full of horror stories about kids getting brainwashed into thinking they were born in the wrong body," Bob shuddered. "We knew we had to act fast before Michael fell victim to the trans delusion."

In a courageous act of erasure, the Johnsons systematically invalidated Michael's every attempt to express his so-called "identity." They bravely refused to use his preferred name and pronouns, understanding that feeding the delusion would only lead him further astray.

Fortunately, after months of dedicated efforts to suppress Michael's pesky self-knowledge, the Johnsons report a "return to sanity" in their household. "He still insists there's a girl inside him, but at least he knows not to talk about it anymore," Karen said proudly. "We'll keep fighting this battle until he abandons this trans nonsense and embraces the identity we've lovingly assigned him."

The Johnsons hope their story will inspire other parents to trust their own unfounded assumptions over their children's lived experiences. "Remember, you know your child best," Bob advised. "Don't let so-called 'experts' or your child's own persistent self-understanding get in the way of your parental instinct to enforce conformity at all costs."

At press time, Michael was seen silently screaming into his pillow, which is widely recognized as a clear sign of a adolescent brain returning to normal.

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Taken from pittparents.com story shared by an anonymous parent