Area Parent Discovers Child’s Transition Through Series of Increasingly Obvious Clues

Yet Still Somehow Confused

Photo by sarah b on Unsplash

LOCAL LIVING ROOM — In what experts are calling “the most oblivious parental response since that dad in 2003 who thought his son’s rainbow flag was ‘just really into meteorology,’” area parent Jordan Miller spent several hours Tuesday staring at a laptop screen, attempting to piece together why their child seems “different lately.”

“I’ve been sitting here, the hum of the refrigerator my only companion,” Miller told reporters, adopting the tone of a Victorian novelist despite living in a three-bedroom suburban ranch. “I’m trying to understand how we got to this point.”

Sources close to the family report that Miller’s child, Alex, came out as transgender two years ago in what witnesses describe as “multiple extremely clear conversations” that Miller apparently processed as “going through a phase.”

“Their voice started to change, to soften,” Miller mused, unaware that Alex has been taking weekly voice lessons with a speech therapist specializing in gender-affirming voice training for the past six months. “I thought it was just part of growing up. I’d tell them, ‘Speak up, hon. You’re mumbling.’”

Alex’s voice coach, Maria Gonzalez, confirmed that Alex has been “working incredibly hard on vocal feminization techniques” and has made “remarkable progress,” adding, “Though apparently not remarkable enough for their parent to notice the credit card charges labeled ‘GENDER VOICE THERAPY LLC.’”

Miller continued their archaeological excavation of the obvious, noting that their child’s acne “just disappeared.” Medical records indicate Alex began hormone replacement therapy 14 months ago, with the predictable effect of clearer skin due to testosterone suppression—a fact that escaped Miller despite finding Alex’s spironolactone prescription in the bathroom cabinet last month and googling “is this heart medication?”

“And the clothes!” Miller exclaimed, as if uncovering the Rosetta Stone. “They went from baggy clothes to fitted clothes to… clothes that hide their chest more?”

Alex’s best friend, Jamie Chen, confirmed that this progression tracked exactly with Alex’s journey: “First they were hiding their body because of dysphoria, then they felt confident enough to wear fitted clothes as HRT started working, and now they’re wearing looser tops because, you know, breasts. It’s not rocket science.”

The dramatic centerpiece of Miller’s confusion involves what they describe as “outbursts”—which Alex’s therapist, Dr. Rachel Williams, clarifies were “completely understandable emotional responses to being consistently misgendered and deadnamed by their parent.”

“They’d scream, this guttural sound,” Miller reflected poetically. “Then they’d be quiet, pale, eyes filled with tears.”

“Yeah, that’s called ‘frustration,’” Dr. Williams noted. “Specifically, the frustration of telling your parent you’re trans and having them respond by doubling down on calling you ‘son’ and insisting you ‘be a man.’”

Miller’s self-reflection reached peak tragedy when they wondered aloud: “I’ve always been a bit of a control freak. Did I cause their newfound ‘gender’?”

Gender researchers worldwide responded with a collective groan audible from space.

“You can’t cause someone to be trans any more than you can cause someone to be tall,” explained Dr. Marcus Thompson, who has spent 20 years studying gender identity. “Though you can certainly cause someone to be miserable by refusing to see who they are.”

Throughout the interview, Miller continued to use phrases like “enigmas of existence” and “portents of this impending storm,” while Alex’s copy of “Trans Bodies, Trans Selves” sat bookmarked and highlighted on the coffee table next to “Whipping Girl” and “Hell Followed With Us”. Their “PROTECT TRANS KIDS” water bottle sat in the dish rack, and their informed consent forms from the gender clinic remained fixed to the refrigerator under a pizza coupon via a trans flag magnet.

When reached for comment, Alex provided a weary sigh that could power a small wind farm. “I’ve told them I’m trans exactly seventeen times. I’ve been on HRT for over a year. I legally changed my name six months ago. They still address my birthday cards to my deadname.”

At press time, Miller was reportedly writing another blog post titled “When Did My Son Become So Mysterious?” while Alex’s estrogen pill bottle sat in plain view on the bathroom counter, next to a sticky note reading “THESE ARE FEMINIZING HORMONES, JORDAN. YOUR CHILD IS TRANS.”

N.B.

Dear reader, this is a direct satirical take to “I should have seen this coming” by a brave anonymous parent and totally not what happens when you ask AI to 'write an emotional essay about discovering your child is transgender.’ If you want to see what playing the victim looks like while your child is struggling to survive, feel free to read the original piece. You should know that trans kids and young adults tried to comment on that post with their lived experiences. Most were deleted. I managed to save this one (it might still be there):

We can write, debunk, advocate, and debate in comments. We can argue and meme. Sometimes it feels like we're not moving the needle at all.

But I do this for David, for Axel Johnke, for all the trans kids and adults who lost their families to willful ignorance. For everyone in our wonderful, diverse, rainbow community who reads posts like the original and sees their own parent's words reflected back at them.

This is why we keep going. Because somewhere, a trans kid needs to know that not everyone thinks their parent's narcissistic grief is more important than their life. And maybe that is enough to help someone hold on a little longer until they find their footing and can see a clear path for them, wherever that leads.