An Inconvenient Truth About That Letter to Fr. James Martin

A quick response to an 'anonymous letter' posted on pittparents.com

Oh good, another ‘concerned parent’ letter about transgender people!¹ Because if there's one thing the world desperately needed, it's more unqualified opinions from an ‘anonymous parent’ masquerading as ‘reasonable concern’ from someone whose primary credential is ‘I birthed a human.’

Welcome to Bullshit Mountain

Let's start with the spectacular claim that gender-affirming care is ‘the biggest medical scandal of our lifetime.’ Really? REALLY? Not the opioid crisis that killed half a million Americans? Not the tobacco industry that deliberately addicted millions? Not the Tuskegee experiments? THIS is where we're planting our ‘biggest scandal ever’ flag?

It's like claiming your hangnail is the worst medical emergency in the hospital while someone's having open-heart surgery in the next room. The hyperbole isn't just wrong—it's offensively wrong.

The ‘Evidence’ Cabinet is Embarrassingly Empty

Our letter writer directs Father Martin to a collection of ‘resources’ that include —and I am not joking— their own blog and various cherry-picked studies that have been repeatedly debunked or redacted. This is the academic equivalent of citing your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving as a constitutional scholar.

Meanwhile, actual medical organizations around the world recognize gender-affirming care as appropriate and beneficial treatment. The vast majority of the various medical and health organizations provide comprehensive guidance focusing on individualized care and wellbeing. But I guess they're all in on this massive global conspiracy too, right? Those crafty doctors and scientists with their facts and evidence-based medicine!

The Persecution Fantasy Olympics

The letter describes parents who apparently ‘lose their faith communities’ because they reject their trans children. Allow me to play the world's tiniest violin. If your response to your child's identity is to reject it, and then your church/faith community suggests maybe you shouldn't do that, the problem isn't transgender people—it's you.

This isn't ‘persecution’ — it's the entirely predictable consequence of treating another human being poorly. It's like punching someone in the face and then complaining that your hand hurts while wondering why they are mad at you.

The Concern Trolling Championship

‘I believe we should respect the civil rights of transgender people WITHOUT...’

Ah, there it is! The classic ‘I'm not against X, I just oppose every single aspect of X’ argument. It's like saying, ‘I fully support your right to be left-handed, I just don't think you should ever use your left hand.’

Let me be crystal clear: Denying someone appropriate medical care isn't ‘respect’ — it's discrimination dressed up in Sunday clothes.

The Inconvenient Truth

Parents like our letter writer aren't really grieving their children — they're grieving the imaginary future they planned without their children's consent. They're mourning the loss of control, the loss of who and what they wanted their child to be, not the actual loss of their child. Because their actual child is still right there, just not conforming to their expectations.

They didn’t ask to be trans, they didn’t choose to be trans, and no one convinced them or made them trans. You accept them or reject them based upon this one attribute, and unlike your kid, this is a choice you make.

The letter concludes by comparing their child to the biblical prodigal son — you know, the story about a parent who UNCONDITIONALLY welcomes their child back without judgment? The irony is so thick you could frost a cake with it!

In Conclusion

Father Martin's approach of building bridges through dialogue and compassion seems pretty reasonable when faced with this alternative — a mixture of pseudoscience, persecution complexes, and emotional manipulation all wrapped up in a veneer of ‘concern.’

So to the self-described ‘grief-stricken mother’ — your child isn't lost. They're not wandering in some far country, and they aren’t dead or dying. They're standing right in front of you, asking to be seen. The only person who's lost here is you.

And that, ladies, gentlemen, and everyone beyond and in between, is the inconvenient truth.

1. https://www.pittparents.com/p/letter-to-fr-james-martin-advocate